懒叫！

原来我已经成功把自己弄得看起来很肤浅.
但是请记住，我喜欢tupperware因为它耐用，谢谢你.
一样东西能够耐多久是看内在，管他妈的外在好看不好看，你嘛要看那个用的人是什么人.

当然事先看外表，难道跟我想处了半年，还不懂我喜欢你的样子吗？我自认看外表，但是我不是没有脑的人。我不会浪费时间在一个有事才来找我，没事把我当透明的世界宇宙什么懒叫先生！
是的，我顿时间真的很生气！什么叫我找别的男生，什么大只佬才可以相处久一点！我听到就一把火！但是又不可以放上FB, 给你看到又不好！

真的，要放手时，什么懒叫理由都可以拿来讲，好心，可以有风度一点吗？
生气时，我最好走开，我也是人。我不是完美的。

我既然不是完美，那么你还叫我找更好的，那不就要我孤独终身吗？

懒叫！

Missing HEBI!!!

I guessed I am ald get too used to HEBI's company. The frequency of the SMS and FB message dropped to the minimum of the minimum. I understand that he is having his time at Taiwan but then yeah, I miss him badly. When I go Mid Valley, when I see his towel, when I catch a glimpse of the slippers I fixed for him outside my door... Aiyo... Miss him loh :-(

Yesterday I told him that I went out with some guy but then he said he is not feeling really good about hearing this. Yet he said that he cannot stop me because it is my rights. After all, I am not attached kan? Believe it or not, it was just some catching up with my gay friend. Did text him during lunch because usually I will gatal go remind him like a coo-coo bird clock that it is time for lunch and dinner ald. He replied :p

HEBI lend me this book written by 欧阳文峰 and I came across one statement that sort of reaffirmed what I have in mind before this.

The cover.

Starting from the second paragraph, I chincai paraphrase and summarize:

"The reason why most gay people have multiple partners is because not much wanted to put full HEART in a relationship which they think may not last." 

It is understandable lah, since there is no marriage between guys in most corners of the world and gay bashing is still happening now and then. 

But then if we don't believe in the relationship, no one will, we will have to step out first, give it a try, even if it didn't end up happily, we can still tell ourselves, we have done our best, we cannot control everything, we can only try to improve the situation. If we persevere, there will be positive results. Just like what Mr. Karate reminded me when I was doing my TUNEL assay, live the spirit of Thomas Edison!

HEBI, I am waiting for you to come back! No matter what it will be, I have done my best okay :-)

I believe in a long term relationship :-)

Ah... Let's go jogging shall we, I don't wanna lose to some protein hunks! Haha! And I discovered putting more weigh on the bar do shows fast results! NO PAIN NO GAIN!!! and next month will be Chern's NO PAINT NO GAIN! GAY GAIN! ACHA!!!!

And and and. I wanna bitch about all those Sultan and unfortunately, the Agong a.k.a. Sultan Kedah and some minister bit some stupid car punya plate number sampai up to millions, WTF people! I think they owe the rakyat some explanation. One side people no money for meals and what cibai development plan, then one side spending money like pouring water. I cannot tahan loh. Yes I should read more newspapers!

Revenge + Karma + presumed evil spirit

Today was rather a shock for me somehow in the morning. In short, SOMEONE was trying to tell the others that I am dating some girl punya boyfriend. Fine. I wrote it so openly over here and if someone wanna talk about it, so be it lah. I think HEBI also won't be bothered pun. By the way, HEBI doesn't know that I wrote such things here. But then if he decided to hate me because of this, I see this as an opportunity to see how far he loves me lah. (I didn't tell him about me writing a blog because this cibai blog is an excellent outlet to rant like a bitch, and I am not that stupid enough to rant in front of him, I am not perfect okay. I also have a lot of things to rant, or else I really go hospital bahagia!) Ah... I think I got infected by Ipoh gor gor's spirit lah, which is something good I think. No need to think so much pun. And this blog is meant to be NO NEED TO THINK SO MUCH. Why think so much anyway kan? I have done it and I should admit it. But then telling everyone that I am dating someone ex-bf (YES, they go by that term and I just followed lah) is not part of my social experiment (telling people that I am gay is a social experiment). And that SOMEONE was in motive to pay back lah because I raised questions about his sexuality, but then when u publicly claim that ur bringing a "friend" along, then why still act straight? Sigh... Correct me if I am wrong, yeah finally I sort of respect others decision to stay closeted, but that way of staying closeted is not so smart to me. That's why I stayed open. Sorry and again, this blog is about NO NEED TO THINK SO MUCH. So I wrote this way.

Also a public disclaim over here, previously I am "evil" guy who go by telling my close friends that SOMEONE is gay lah. WAIT!!! Let me explain. Because that time in first year and second year and still now, I think being gay is nothing a big deal. I feel great about it, my friends are okay with me, and lagi I mixed around with a Christian straight guy that always talked about me having sex with guys and my butt got virus lah and, previously, I will get burned in hell which he told me that the temperature is even hotter than the sun. I wondered how he knew about the temperature thingy but then I digressed. At the end, I felt nothing bothered when I go to sleep on the college's rosak punya bed because I was just being myself, I expressed myself, the real person I am! I stalked guys and they stalked girls, and they are okay... I think. Or else we won't be still hanging for nearly 4 years kan?!

So yeah, although SOMEONE go to temple and sembahyang and meditate lah... Aiya... that's why I like SAIYUKI's Genjo Sanzo, if u know his character lah.

Yeah, I finished ranting liao. Foo...

For those who wanna bitch about me, bitch lah. I know I have done mistakes and I am not gonna cried, if karma comes, come lah. Instead of using the energy to cry, why not I use the energy to keep myself stable when challenges come.

Ohya, am I a good person. Well, up to you lah. Just like my Ipoh gor gor, always kept telling me that he is a bad guy lah, sleep around lah, but then in personally, damned jaga me, share with me some life stories and always belanja me makan and drink because his salary damned cibai banyak!!! Did I had sex with anyone else after I knew HEBI, HELL NO!!!

Time to hit the gym and build strong body, because as a powerful gay young men, I should be physically and mentally strong. Thanks Darwin for inspiring me on SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!


To dear SOMEONE, I wanna apologize. I am sorry. I am tried with the game I started ald.

Thesis Thesis and Thesis

THESIS: CRUCIO!!!
SKP: ARGH....!!!! *covering my face with hands... ARGH!!! OUCH!!! OWH!!!!*

After a while, I tossed myself around and I shouted: CIBAI HANG PUNYA THESIS!!!

A perfect illustration to tell how painful I am now mentally!!! Thesis presentation 2mrw and I am still not yet 50% done. WTF!

HAIR METAMORPHOSIS 2007-2012

Yeah, what is coming up NEXT?

Will my future boss allows me to go around with my Yakuza head?

I just wish to work in a company with allows its people to be who they are, celebrate diversity and some-what more effective than typical gamen servants.

(Well, you have to admit that gamen servants are pretty laid back... good for certain people, but not me. I hate lack of inefficiency!)

Retina + apoptosis + politics + missing HEBI

Fu.... (blowing wind from the mouth...) It has not been physically tired enough though sleep less, the mental thing really took a great deal of me.

In short, busy preparing last minute powerpoint for thesis result presentation. All of the sudden, the debt of work from previous honey moon period forced it way back to me now (better than REALLY last minute lah!!!) This cibai TUNEL assay kit baru sampai like last 2 weeks. Imagine doing something I have ZERO experience and exposure to??? Well, basically everyone is doing something like this pun. So yeah, playing with all those microliter enzyme and buffer and ice...

 Because of the minute amount of solution (0.1ml), I need to use paraffin wax to confine a small area of reaction. Sudah payah you know. Lni Lnio A! But then I am pretty proud of myself for using paraffin, since I don't have the what water resistant pen, which is mentioned in that protocol.

eventually I pun duno what I am looking into the microscope pun. All blue... and my sama-sama-enjoy-life-like-me punya supervisor suggested that I have been watching too many blue film... WTF! (Yeah she knows I am gay and can really joke on it.) Seek help from the chubby Dr Chan then lagi teruk, now I felt like I need to dig into programmed cell death. Autophagy ah... necrosis ah... Apoptosis ah... OMG! Dr Zariyantey, I ald buang the notes lah!

Turquoise coloration from Methyl Green Counterstain, but then I am expecting apoptotic cells in deep brown coloration wor... That's why I got pening; but then Dr Chan said that it is okay, just report TAK ADA APOPTOSIS lah. Okay then fine.

Btw, this is retina, the layer inside the eye, without it, we see nothing at all. 

Anyway, was chatting with supervisor after stress session (yeah we share the same thing, when stress liao terus MAKAN junk food and go shopping spend money sort of!) and apparently, she is okay with politics; I mean politics as in human-human relationship thingy. Like last time u treat me makan pizza, now I will give yr student ph7 punya air suling. Wow... Looks like I also need to embrace this adult game. Yeah, I think politics are some adult toy. It is so manipulating.

 

And talking about politics in which you may need to smile smile to entertain others so that u get what you wanted, suddenly I thought of Genjo Sanzo from SAIYUKI, who walk on his path without being bothered by others, anyone that obstruct his way, he will kill! Well, provided that I am really pandai lah. What to do! YES HIDUP GAY! I AM GONNA BE STRONG AND PANDAI!

And lastly, I missed HEBI so much. Felt so sorry that I can't make it for lunch with him this afternoon because I was discussing my work with Dr. Chan and Dr Yanti at the same time. Oh lord! Eventually, when I replied him, he ngam ngam sent me a message telling that he is going back ald lah. Suddenly wanna cry that time. My distorted thought that he was angry, then tiba tiba emo. But the retained rationality tells me that if he were to be angry with me when I am bz dealing with my studies, HELL YOU GO! Anyway, there was nothing, he asked me NOT TO apologize as there is nothing apologize. :p

Ah... bz bz. HEBI going Taiwan Trip with his ex-gf. I know that he still loves her somehow. After all, it has been nearly 4 years. I told him to see if things work out between them during the trip. I know he is torn between me and the ex-gf, I can't really help me much in making decision apart from stop being a drama queen. Sigh... (not a sad sigh, just a after-all sigh) even if HEBI got back with the ex-gf, I guess I can handle it as well lah, I will just cry a day or two, then emo 1 or 2 week, I will be up and going, haha, after all I still have my flings :-) Ah going back to THESIS! LNI LNIAO A!

Still positive still positive!

ps: LNI-LNIAO-A means "your mom's..."

Repost: Make time for people to make life more meaningful

I have a on-and-off habit of reading columns from THE STAR although the news reports on the front pages are like so WTF at times, but NOTHING nonsense from the columnists lah except from one particular dude from PEMANDU. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Anyhow, amidst the mind-freezing thesis writing and read-also-dun-understand articles scanning, I make it a point to read something which I find nutritious for my thoughts; such as MUSINGS by Marina Mahathir, A BRAVE NEW WORLD by Azmi Sharom, A WRITER'S LIFE by Dina Zaman, and a few to name. Today leh, ngam ngam I wanna try on some other columnist's work and I found this: SUNDAY STARTERS by SOO EWE JIN.

I find it enlightening for me, so I would wanna share with tha... eh... since when I sounded like I am writing for people to read pulak. Anyhow... Please enjoy lah.

Make time for people to make life more meaningful

I HAVE not worn a watch for the past 30 years. But I am a punctual person.

My friends comment that I am foolish to arrive at any appointment, especially wedding dinners, by the stated time when it is obvious that Malaysian time rules the day.

Some say time is a precious resource in our very busy world and take great care to demarcate portions of the day to specific tasks that guarantee the best returns. So, by their reasoning, time spent with anyone that does not add value to their lives, be it their reputation or their bank accounts, is simply wasted time.

But time actually makes no distinction between the rich, powerful man and the ordinary man in the street.
So it would not be correct to say that one person’s time is more important than another. We are, after all, blessed with the same 24 hours in a day.

I suppose the mass media creates a scenario where the time of the rich, powerful, famous and the infamous seems to take precedence.

Because we are interested in their stories, the newspapers chronicle their lives for mass dissemination.

But each of us, in our limited time here on earth, also have our own stories to share. How we spend that time has its own value for us, and also the people around us.

The most happening event last Saturday was Bersih 3.0. Some were there, many were not. But an event like this has consequences in all our lives, whether we are present or not.

It should cause us to reflect on the future of our beloved country and whether we have given more to the world than we have received from it in our lifetime.

Are our words and actions making a positive difference to our society?

At the workplace, are we seen as mere economic units critical to the bottom line of the company or as real people whose time and talent are truly appreciated?

In our neighbourhood, are we always in a rush or do we find time to chat with our neighbours?

And we will learn the hard way that we can never turn back the clock when we hold back saying thanks or sorry to a loved one until it is too late to do so.

Recently, I was confined in a 4ft by 6ft room for one hour to undergo a medical examination. Because of the radioactive dye that had been injected into my body, I could not be exposed to others.

In that one hour, time took on a different meaning. My friend asked why I did not take in my tablet to surf my time away. Simple, there was no WiFi.

So how did I pass the time? Well, I started remembering all my friends going through various medical problems. It was a fairly long list.

But through reflection and prayer, I was able to count my blessings. Away from the madding crowd, we see people in a different light.

I went in at 9am and came out at 10am. The clock still marked it as one hour but my passage through time is different.

In that one hour, I had a lot of time to think of others.

I guess the secret to living in a busy world is to slow down and make time for people.

There is much wisdom in the saying that “we should love people and use things, not use people and love things”.

I believe if we do so, time takes on a whole new dimension, and life becomes more meaningful.

Yes indeed. LOVE PEOPLE! MAKE TIME FOR PEOPLE!

Initially I wasn't really sure if I should meet Hebi tomorrow for dinner or not, but right after I read this column, it reaffirmed one of my principles: ATTEND TO PEOPLE FIRST, FOR WORKS CAN ALWAYS WAIT (BECAUSE WORKS ARE SIMPLY NON-LIVING.)

Last time when Hebi was rushing for his final year project, he didn't meet me for 2 weeks and I already cannot tahan already. Since now it is my turn to face this sort of situation, I would make time for us, bullshit the CIBAI thesis. End of discussion! Shower!

Report report!

And so HEBI said that he will try to increase my confidence and trust in him when I said that I don't believe him entirely, due to some events that caught me in total surprise; which I think I am naive lah.

Yesterday he went out with his ex-gf for the entire day and he made a few "reports" to me; texting me that he went to Shah Alam to settle the internet termination thingy lah, she was required to be there because the internet thingy was under her name; after that went movie with her because she said she wanted to watch movie; then dinner and then stayed at her house because the CIBAI "AMNO" gathering (which apparently there were 2000 buses there according to MyFM wor... sambutan luar biasa konon according to TV3 news =.=)

He said that he wanna be honest with me, everything. And suddenly I felt like a control-freak. Am I? I didn't ask him to report to me wor, I just told him that I didn't trust him entirely niah. And so he did the reporting, which I found pretty romantic. That he understands my insecurity. Hmm, I need to do the same as well ald :-)

Eventually, I asked him not to report to me already because I find this will be very tiring for him. Why he wanna be bothered with a person who doesn't trust him anyway? And so I told him that I trusted him; since he changed for me, it would be selfish not to do anything equivalent. Thus I choose to trust him; well if people really wanna cheat, there are ways to completely cover lies.

For a guy who take effort to make some changes for u, can agak agak quite good ald lah.

I also told him that it is very important to be honest with his feeling, what he wants. If one day even we got together, then later 3rd party came in and what extra-relationship sex thingy, please do tell me, because i won't wanna be stop anyone from pursuing what he/she wanted. There won't be happiness by force.

Ah... I am still learning and there are lotsa version of definition for life partner and relationship; I mean there are people in OPEN relationship which my promiscuous Ipoh gor gor can't even comprehend and there goes those "Oh let's stay far far away and be quiet so to avoid distraction" blah blah.

If we never step out and try, we will never know :p Let's explore, we will never know what sort of road is awaiting for us in front, but one thing for sure, let's walk with a creative and positive mind.

At the moment, I think wish to be together with a person who cared about my feeling and wanted to stay together with me; and I, too, feel that same :-)

Yes let's bitch about that "AMNO" gathering in Bukit Jalil abit lah:
1."AMNO" needs hired bus to send their "supporter" from various places across the country; people who joined BERSIH went by themselves.
2. "AMNO" people wore those RED shirt, mind you! EVERYONE IS WEARING THE SAME!!! So the question is: Where does the money come from?
3. In a TV3 news report, that Rafidah Iron lady was saying that "AMNO" fight for the all races in Malaysia. Somehow I find that ridiculous...

Thesis!!!

Baby STITCH

HEBI likes STITCH Aaaaa.... LOTTTTTT!!!!

He snapped this with his Samsung S2 and sent this to me. Awww :-)

So cute. Gonna pay baby stitch a visit very soon!

After thesis... argh...

Calon Mahasiswa Cemerlang. Fuyoh....

Saya adalah daripada

UNIVERSITI KEBANGSAAN MALAYSIA KAMPUS KUALA LUMPUR!

PROGRAM SAINS BIOPERUBATAN!

MAMPUS HANG CIBAI!!!

LOL!

I know it is some cheap thingy. But I cannot contain myself from keep laughing.

This is so WEIRD!!!!

I wear shorts when the college mentioned that the residences cannot, and it felt like I am the evil fela that started the whole jom ignore mereka and we buka our aurat... when I was in my first year lagi!

But the I started the recycle thingy, kept the gym in operation, did some LYNAS awareness exhibition, and what else... like this niah loh. Hmmm.... Or u can say... UKM memang tak ada standard... Or may be it is my haircut that made me so noticeable in the college. LOL

I am whore! Haha

I feel "lam" when saw you

Do I need to say more?! Haha!

(Read it for the first time, wah... really "lam" loh, read it again... with a English mind, then tib-tiba it sounded like he wanna CUT me into half pulak?! Haha)

Hebi, I also "lam" when I see you, because I don't wanna saw you. Haha.

我可不可以跟你maksiat一下吗？

Haha :-) Haha ;-) Haha XD

Today... happiness... hang-fuk!!! HEBI (in substitution of XXX, because now ald happy happy liao!) spent more than half day with me!!! We had lunch, then..., chat chat, main main, leg-brush-leg, dinner and CHATIME!!!

 *I used to hate CHATIME because I think it is idiotic to pay RM7 for such "water"... then somehow, now it become something to enjoy with him, I literally forgot how much I am paying for such "water"...*

Tiba tiba terserempak dengan lelaki lurus yang I suka masa Form 3 and had VERY weird conversation without actually looking directly at each other, as claimed by HEBI. Something like:

SKP: Woi! Hoi! 

Lelaki lurus: Hoi, why you are here?*Then intended to walk away, sort of like keep walking but still answer, that's why I said WEIRD loh!*

SKP: *Walking away ald, but at the end turn around, when I see him turned around as well, I go near him* What you're working here ah? What job?

Lelaki lurus: Working at construction site ah? Wah..

SKP: Ooo... okok. Take care ah... *Lelaki lurus wanna go ald, me also, but before walking away I said to him* You are still that handsome ah!

(He is really SUNNY last time when he mingled with the school paling teruk punya bad boys, which I always stalk them during pendidikan jasmani, wah... those abs... and I was the ketua kelas yang gay... So back in Form 3 was like budak-budak lelaki macho sunny VS. satu budak gay. Wah... But this time he looked abit old and worn out... Sigh...)

OMG! I am abit out of control ald. Hehe! HEBI made me go out of control, not lelaki lurus okay!

Today was pretty effective. I think we managed to wash away the blues and talked in a pretty neutral way, I have been asking him to be honest because there is really no need to hide or fake anything ald.

I always like to utter the word MAKSIAT. So when he was sending me back to hostel, there was a black MYVI parked dekat tepi Tasik Titiwangsa and I said: Nah Nah Nah! MAKSIAT! Haiyo! And he pointed the 2 guys sitting beside the lake. I told him that they could be gay.

Oh sampai ald, outside hostel liao! Thought wanna sit in the car chat chat abit while drinking Matcha Red Bean with him, then think think, aiyo still got that CIBAI TUNEL assay manual belum go through, and he wanted to send the late dinner for his EX-GF (according to him, they have ald decided to break up; which is consistent with the conversation I had with the EX-GF, so I believed!), so mah aiya... bye bye ald lah!

Mana tau before I go out, he said: 我可不可以跟你maksiat一下？

He drew himself near to me and in that split second, we kissed :-)

Mampus! BOOM! CHI KA BOOM! !!!!! Rocket blasting liao! FEW~~~~

Wah... die liao! die liao! I melt ald! Melting.... Macam cannot believe niah! This is like so rare! He rarely come kiss me voluntarily! Mampus! OMG....

Ah... Ah... Ah... HEBI I love you! Not sure what will happen in the future, I don't wanna think like insane and all those fucking assumption! It is tiring, just be happy one day, enjoy one day! Ah.. what am I talking... Gila ald... Hyperammoniemia ald lah.... psychotic.... ah...

*I walked back to my room, smiling... keep saying 我可不可以跟你maksiat一下吗？*

I was just saying

When I said that you don’t need you to treat me that good, I don’t really mean it 100%; part of me hope that you would say something like: I treat you good because I wanted you to be happy, something like that way. 

Unfortunately, that part of me was disappointed lah.

I asked you to treat me as friend, just friend, not friends with benefits. 

After that I have an urge to tell you that I like you, that I don’t feel well saying that last message, that I wasn’t entirely honest about me wanting us to be just friends. But then I stopped after that, I thought: If my affection wasn’t strong enough to let u feel it, it makes no difference, and texting this sort of message will just be mere lips services.

When it comes to relationship, usually I am pretty passive. I will wait for the response of others, then only I act. I don’t want to be disappointed again. But then, if I do nothing, if I always wait, what if he is waiting as well? Sigh… Ai SKP. How ah?!

A case stud-di

A case study: A gay guy had problems with his relationship, he is sad, yet he remained strong and he devoted his coming time to works and some socializing.

Interpretation: Homosexuals are human beings. He is gay because he, as a male, is attracted to another male, same sex. He becomes happy with the sight of the guy. It is deduced that he likes him. He hang out with him and they attended to each other, be it physical or emotional needs. He decided to be faithful to him. Eventually, things happened and everything back to square one (meaning sudah break up lah!) He is sad. He has lost something important. Thus, he decided to move on as that there is no point dwelling in the sorrow. Doing what he likes and what he can, to help out and contribute.

Message: If you're saying that gay people are immoral, what is so immoral about them? Was someone else dead in the process? Was someone else hurt in the process? The gay relationship, like straight relationship, is a matter of two individual (keep polygamy aside), what they do is none of others business. Of course I am referring to a monogamous relationship.

To be faithful, to be slutty, is the matter of a individual. There are straight people who sleeps around, and there are gay people doing it. So what is the difference. Back to point one, the matter of morality lies on the individual's perception, NOT sexuality.

(Written this when I got problem with XXX...)

(But I memang slut pun, I ald know people go gf, still go sleep with him, but then who started first? 1 hand cannot clap kan?)

Beware of the trap from within

When I think of him, I used to be very happy and proud; but then lately, I have turned sorrow and nothing when people asked about my relationship status. I duno how to define it.

He called, but I wasn't in the mood. Perhaps it is because the guys are just in front of me, perhaps my perception towards this whole relationship thingy has changed? I am negative.

I thought treating him like a bf last time was a rather cool decision, dun care lah, just have fun enough lah; mana tau it turned out that I am not. I find myself more attached to him, having expectation towards him, that at least kena call me, need to sweet talk me blah blah. 2 weeks of deficiencies, the bliss left me, I am a changed person when I thought of him, the happy memories are becoming vague and less real. It was like a dream.

Well, lesson learned, never be too attached to anyone too easily. Just to find myself some excuse, I guess he made me get too attached to him ald, I fall in love with him ald. Sigh...

Single but not available

And so he told me for the second time that he wanted to calm down at the moment and then only he made decision. Now only I remembered that he told me before this, knock my knuckle head!

We have not been seeing each other for 2 weeks and my "thoughtful" brain generated some wild story of him sleeping with others. It was torturing for me. Mana tau later he told me that he was busy with his home-moving. I believed him and I started to be more positive. (But then he could have told me kan? Sigh...)

Somehow, no matter what sort of decision he made, I felt I can also handle it. It has been quite a while after the huge drama and I think I have sort of got used to it. Then I have decide to meet up with an uncle whom I have been chatting from time to time since 2 years ago, nothing fishy, just wanna make myself as frank and easy going as possible, as long as you can talk and decent, com'on. + I also get to bitch more about life with a designer gay friend, haha!

Nonetheless, I have decided to try out KL for my starting working life due to 2 reasons: I wanna grow without my family and because of him.

Days ago when I was working out in the gym, I heard some lady saying from the radio that: "You can always change for a better job, but then how often can you find a good person?" And so it reaffirmed my decision. I planned to stay working in KL, to try out if the relationship work out or not, provided if we are together lah, yeah, I am waiting for him.

I know on FB, he is still pretty close and romantic to her, I felt ah! My heart kena stabbed! But then I think I should give him the benefits of doubt lah: 4 years of relationship, say break then break meh? It wasn't like she has done some huge mistake or annoyed him pun, just that suddenly my appearance in his life made him think again, what he wanted more.

Eh but then am I slapping myself? Good person hard to find. They have been together for 4 years, isn't that a concrete reason that they find each other the right person?

I am laughing at myself... Why I didn't think of that before? Am I smart? I guess no. Haha. I guessed I would have died in NUS if I were to study there. So SKP, jangan overestimate yrself loh.

But still, I don't mind waiting, for how long, I tak tau. Will see :-) Dear Hebi, I know what to do geh. We will be friends now :-)