Confession

I am dating/seeing (whichever you wanna call it, I considered it as something no-string-attached those kinda relationship) someone lately. Of course it started short and sweet. Chatted, smiled, kissed, and eventually sex-ed in 2 week time. I think it is pretty natural for gay relationship.

He looks neat & proper. Well-mannered. Dressed well. Speak pretty fluent English. Looks kinda cute. Pass.

Last week somehow we come to a conclusion for 6 month probation. I was pretty happy with that too. But today there is something that bothers me.

He was lamenting about work that he wanted to leave because people were treating him bad and so on. Fine he found a new job. He decided to MIA and went straight into the new job. I didn’t encourage that but I am not in the position to say anything because I am in my second job currently. Somehow, it felt like he placed his feeling before responsibility and accountability.

He was also lamenting that he may not have enough money for his oversea trip. I shared my view on how I saved money on meals and other things. I felt it may not be that bad after all if he spends strictly for 3 months to come. 2-3 times he was sad because of work and money. Today he went to movie. I am not a movie type of person. I told him I am puzzled with his degree of seriousness in money issue. It didn’t go well. I apologize. He was going to movie with friends that time. I should have talked about it after the movie.

I guess I have problem accepting human behavior differs from me. Come to think of it, I am not even good at keeping my promises as well. I rarely accomplish my resolutions, and it happens every single year. I guess I need to find a balance- reality vs. ideal.

This guy is not perfect. I am not one to begin with. Sigh…