Breaking up (even we have never been together)

Emotion management has not been well done lately after I have decided not to send anything to over sea. Plus the aunty at the fashion house has been giggling in a way which left me catching idea from the air violently- I think she is teasing me; oh perhaps I am just thinking negative~

I know I should be happy- in fact, I used to smile every single day back in secondary school and one day the Guru Kanan moral asked me: how come you can smile every day like that?-but I just failed to find any reason to smile (can I tell myself that smiling does not need any reason? Haha!)

And so, my face was as emotion-less as a dead man, but no one knew that I have been mind-typhoon-ing inside :-( (and thank God that my neurons are still in tagged, haha~ But I won't know if a few thousand get blown away anyway~) I find it hard to focus and I was pretty suffering every single second going through the day in the fashion house learning things. It seems the passion and enthusiasm has died off already :-( It was really taking my life to pick up everything the aunty was telling me today :-( Sob sob~ And I could sense some tiny little frustration getting more obvious through her tone, which added in the pressure~

Perhaps I have not been getting as much attention when I am back to my hometown. Yes, I am an attention seeker and my mind feeds on attention and I must have to admit that I have problem managing this habit. I know the right amount and TYPE of attention is very crucial to push me to a higher level in life, but most of the time I find myself behaving like a drunk guy saying the most arrogant and dangerous stuffs when I got too high under enormous amount of attention. Haha *scratching my head~

I recall that there is a saying that life needs applause- it is a positive response to what we have done. I have been searching it from outside all the while, for I have forgotten that SKP could have clapped for himself when no one did. *scratching head again~

Aiyor~ I am such a dimbo lah~

SKP, clap clap clap! I am back to myself again :-) Eh eh eh, where is Le Chatelier~ Rupa-rupanya, he is talking a break from the sciences, moving to intense fashion designing at the moment~ Ciao~

p/s: Again, I feel that I have been simply putting up titles and talk anything other than the title itself~ May be I felt that I am losing something because I need to forget him~