Help

Went out for dinner with colleagues after long day of work. Happily driving to coconut house, but we stopped somewhere because me and another colleague needed a quick dinner, which didn't turn out to be quick. I bang someone's Mercedes, a few minor scratch at the back. Both suffered nil functional damage. Some paint came off.

I felt bad. I put my name card and mentioned sorry. Strangely, no one came out to look at it. 

Colleague A told me not to worry. Just eat and act nothing happen. If table 1 and table 2 went off and we are done eating, he will remove the card. I declined saying that it is not fair for that owner as I have caused the problem. Colleague B said it was not life threatening. I felt they are excuses.

Eventually I calmed myself down. I was eating pork, which I am not supposed to be eating as I will be performing for some Buddhist event (performers need to be adopting vegan diet as we are advocating vegan diet and karma.) Garlic was awesome. I can go to hell. 

Half way eating Colleague A said he wanna say Hi to a friend. I felt it was very strange, but I saw him talking to someone. Both colleagues tried to divert my attention by talking something else. I can feel that. 

When we are done, no one come to look at the car. I saw no card on the windscreen. I said thank you to nobody. I felt relieved and I drove away.

Yes it was not life threatening. I am not able to afford a house nor a Honda Hybrid yet. I am saving up to bring mom to Taiwan next year. If I were to stay back and admit, it may cause me thousands to fix some scratch and repainting, plus the hassle of reporting and blah. I can't afford to pay out that much.

It made me thinking. If I have RM50,000 in back account, I could have stayed back for the hassle. It felt like those powerful can afford to help. Or one should be self-sustainable then only they can start helping. I can sustain but there are things that I need to use the money for. Should one just shy away from problem? Avoid taking accountability? But the accountability may turn out taking up what I wanted to achieve, hence I walked away? Should this apply to not helping people getting robbed by the roadside?

I wanted to help? Should I get more money? Should I train harder to be become bigger to scare off others? Or it is just what Lady Gaga recited in BORN THIS WAY music video: How can I protect something so perfectly without evil? I duno if it makes sense, suddenly it felt doing the right things may not seem to be as simple as I thought.

I may hurt myself if I stayed back. Money gone. And since someone is driving a Mercedes, of course he/she can afford to fix that minor scratch with minor financial damage. I go fucked myself.