Abnormal- too special

This thing hunts me now and then. Subang guy told me the reason he didn't go after me is because I lack inner beauty. Of course the first few seconds I went "Wadafaq are you blind?"

I don't think I am bragging, I feel that it is essential not to underestimate one's value. 

I kept my personal space clean;

I spend time with people whom I felt required help;

I feel biting back for revenge is stupid, I just ignore;

I don't usually become calculative unless the amount is too much for me to bear like RM500 dinner for 3 person;

I try to educate myself with knowledge;

I try to make a statement when things go wrong;

I don't believe in taking advantages of others;

I went back occasionally to see my mom;

I replied message whenever I can.

All these, seems to lost to one thing- well being, it seems.

A bestie felt I don't handle certain things with tactics. Anyhow, I am ranting over here as I felt very frustrated. The one that I like was always half-way or grew bored of me, forgoing me to someone physically inferior to me; when I thought people are superficial, that's why I went to gym.

I can give a hundred reasons of shit, but the fact is the fact, I am not tacky enough; I behave inappropriately. Yes I have friends, may be not as much and helpful. Or perhaps, I am blind as well.