Fallen

First time went out drunk with colleagues. Well we seem to be more like friends as we shared pretty much of personal thing. But then again I kept my reservation for the doubts. So this guy said that people go to work out because they do not have much self confidence inside them, that's why they took another route, the external- flesh and skin- the most tangible factors. I quickly recognized that he was talking about me. I was not angry, I think it was very true indeed. Well, the reason we are hanging out is because he said he see something in me that he wanna make it shine. I felt better of myself as the statement came out from someone much higher and experienced that I do. Skillful as he is, not much truth can skip his observation, he is damned good and probing people without people realizing it. I was said to be probably ending up with someone plump or rounded. I disagreed and I had a bet on nothing with him. It was on Friday night.

Saturday night, I saw Subang guy running up to catch a train but to no avail. He was with another two guys. Even though I was with hebi (yes, we sort of reconnected.) I felt like texting him to tease him saying he has long legs but lack stamina. The conversation didn't last long as I wasn't in the mood as well, hebi is just beside.

Subang guy is out. Hebi is out as well (I dared myself to ask him if there is any possibility but he refused to answer, I just took it as a no.) Smart guy is out as well. Left with dub guy (I never wrote anything dub guy, anyway we have different mindset but he tends to like hanging out with me and he hinted that he liked me.)

A plump guy. Should I stop dating any well-built guy and start dating plump people? Not at the moment I guess. Anyhow, I felt lonely, I wished to wish good morning and good night and even talked about simple mundane stuffs like lunch meals to someone I loved, I know it was really shallow. Oh well, I have myself to blame for being picky and never satisfied.

I guessed I am still young. Plenty of time to see who wished to tag along my mundane journey. I need someone that feel the same amount of love and passion as I do, sharing it, badly, badly.