Guilt

Demon has concurred me. I gave in, voluntarily. I spared the details.

We have dinner. We talked about if after a certain years, will any relationship boil down to open relationship? Giving in to the ever-hungry lust and forgo whatever moral and loyalty? Some knew it but chose to close-one-eye-open-one-eye. He said it was pathetic. I agreed. We are both in dilemma.

His bf felt pressured by the insecurity. He, on the other hand, doesn't see it as a problem. The former suggested a break-up, but it was just a gimmick. Eventually he could not let him go, he too, was poisoned. The latter felt bad for the former, he too, felt should let the former go so that no one need to be stuck in situation. The latter told me that the former is the few guys that he would think of now and then. It is obvious that the former loves the latter more.

Being pre-occupied by these, I called aunt agony (if you're reading this, you know lah) and this son of Jesus calmed me down with his cheerful voice. He said I have a brain and wisdom as well. I said I am not using both.

Decided to start watch "big bang theory" or "How I met your mother" to occupy my mind.

Told these issues to my girl friends, as usual the bestie was not amused by the story. What? Again? But anyhow, I got the link and let's see how SURFACE can support my potential other addiction. Ciggy didn't quite work actually.

I hate getting into someone's else relationship, but still, not the first time doing it. I guessed I will just go to hell.