Hiatus

I am like a person trapped in a relationship hiatus.

Ultra guy- I guessed he enjoyed my company and some fun session; but he has a bf that treated him like none other guys.

Subang guy- Despite establishing an official relationship with the something-wrong, still liked me as proclaimed. Make an effort to text me via FB messenger as WATSAPP and SMS may be occasionally monitored by something-wrong. All I can say is "As long as you're happy ma friend."

Small guy- He called me his bf. I enjoyed his company pretty much as he is very accommodative. However there is hardly any bf-spark on me. I do not have the urge to make love with him. I don't really missed him as well.

Ultra asked me to look for other guys on JackD; I can only wished if getting a guy that can endure my sohai-tivity and yet wished to establish a relationship with me is as simple as that. Yes it is true that I am picky, but I also do not wish to simply get into a relationship and then suffer the break-up and feeling sorry for others.

Perhaps I am insecured?

Come to think of it, I don't understand when people say it is bored go out alone. Perhaps that time I was on exploration mode. At 26-coming, I felt the occasional loneliness looking at others eating with the company of others at restaurant, perhaps that's why people preferred to dapao and eat one's room.

I have never really pray for fate. I guessed I should start praying now before it is too late. Sigh... these hiatus shit!