I am not sure.

I think I have been cursed in relationships.
Usually when something good happened, it seems something opposite will happen next moment.
Is my imagination fooling with me?
Once I read a book by 张晓娴, and she wrote: 爱情就是想像出来的. Love is created from imagination.
Haha. I have a feeling that I got a slap on the face again. Why?
HEBI and his ex posted a few pictures on FB.
They wrote things on one of those paper Tanglung shown in 《那些年》.
I stayed calm. After I read those sentences, I tried to stay calm. I did.
I went to shower, and I kept thinking:
Don't be stupid lah. A 4-year-long relationship.
It is clear that both mentioned something about being single.
He wrote that she is still his most beloved.
She wrote that he is the first guy she ever loved so much.
After all, they still love each other.
Who am I? A slut? Seriously I duno.
He claimed that he loved me. All the things he has done. It felt genuine.
In some way, HEBI made effort in order not to let me think bukan-bukan.
But now, come to think of it: He did that because he wanna avoid me thinking bukan-bukan and emo?
Or he wanted me to feel secured?
Mind you, they are both different matter, for me.
How we started this relationship anyway?
Can a person in love with 2 person at the same time?
I seriously duno.
What is love anyway?
To me, if u love someone, every emotion, every effort, every motivation comes from the thought of the very person.
You will wish to see that person.
You will wish to spend time with that person.
You will smile when u see him sleeping soundly.
You will smile when u see him eating hungrily.
You will smile when u see that he is happy.
:-) This relationship really made me think a lot, unlike previous relationships.
You can say that I think too much, which is unnecessary.
But I would see as a priceless opportunity to understand people and life.
But then I could be wrong, who knows.
Sometimes I ask myself not to think too much, sometimes I ask myself to think twice.
SW ask me to ask myself what I want, but I also wanna give a thought on what HEBI possibly want, for the better.
If he is better off with his ex, I would step back.
I would have stronger control to myself.
The least I want in a relationship is sadness, but it happens, inevitably.
I am not an ultimate bitch. I dun like to see loving couple get separated.
But still, this decision was made by them. I can't possible help.
Perhaps it is the best for them? So that each other can explore more about oneself?
To see whether if both really need each other?
I am not sure at all.
Perhaps I wanna withdraw? Single again?
And just let work occupy my life?
Haha. I am not sure.