The irony

After the pathetic deform onto the poor Myvi, I felt it is right to get it repaired in PJ instead of Kedah. With a higher vigilance towards my mental alertness, I sped on the highway zooming to Ipoh to visit my gor again. According to another gor, he is stressed with something, I felt that as well.

The rich hunk was there. He has a weird habit of spending overnight at my gor's house before heading back to his family's place in Ipoh. Mischievously, I went upstairs to wake him up with the typical Chinese ghost voice (it goes like wuu~ wuu~ as if someone is crying). He was annoyed and shouted some vulgar words.

After zapfan lunch, we went back to the house for some chit-chat. Somehow the topics swirled to relationship.

He said: "Most relationship operates by don't-ask-don't-tell, one day you will get bored with your partner. We lives in illusion like it or not, we know it is happening, but we only act upon if things gone too wrong. Everyone will fall deeply for something or someone eventually, but the one that stays till the end may not be him, most probably it is someone else, secondary. It is fine to fall deeply for someone, it is not your fault, sometimes you can't control it, it just came like that without warning. But it is always smart to stay in control whenever you can afford to, never simply fall for someone easily, if there is no click, move on, don't make a shit out of yourself, it doesn't worth anything. Like it or not, you're in this group of community and most of us go on this modus-operandi. It is better to stay single sometimes. But if one day you go paktor, make sure you stop any intention of dating, stop using Grind, stop using JackD, or even best, stop using Facebook."

Despite having said such realistic stand on gay relationship, I noticed his expression changed. I heard about his previous stories. Once he fall for someone, he will only back off if the situation does harm to both parties.

I laughed. Is it that bad? Somehow, I see little true monogamous gay relationships. Is the sex part that hard to fight? The visual lust and all those muscles and skins, remove all la. Delete all la.

I thought, if one day I am just a blind man, staying together with another blind man, hugging him to sleep and some occasional sex would be just great as well, when the inner side is touched and heard, removing the interference of visual lust.