Dad in operation

I just felt writing this:

"Dad went though 6 hours of operation, I faced a tough decision for his colorectomy. I asked the surgeon if part of the colon can be kept; however it was not advisable and the overall result may be not favorable. "Dr. We will follow your suggestion." FYI, if we were to keep part of his colon, he would need to undergo another operation, which we have no idea if he can survived. Secondly, what if the part of the kept colon has another lesion and blood kept ozzing out? It would be a waste of blood transfusion. Time and energy blood and other resources will be gambled for his colon. Having the colon removed, the leftover of the food will just flush through from ileum to the rectum, which he will be having watery stool from now on for the frequency of 10-15 times/ day, which can also be translated to adult diapers, and change of lifestyle. He survived the operation. Strong man. I wished I have this part of his genes. Despite having obvious edema on the limbs and a few inch of stitched wound on his abdomen, he still looked alert. Though it was clear that he regretted for what has happened, I could see tears in his eyes. He can't drink, he can't eat; because his diet would be epidural at the moment. His tongue seemed to be having some layer of viscous stuffs, his throat is dry with the constant oxygen air. He begged for water which I can't give. He does not understand the consequences: pulmonary edema. I tried to moist his dry lips, he quickly sucked any drop of water from the napkin. There is nothing much I can do as well, he bought a bus ticket to head back to KL. I felt I should be placed in Penang, nearer instead. I wondered if my life choices were correct. "