I knew she came back loh. Terima kasih for telling that u
went to fetch her. Okay lah, what to do kan. He said he wanted to be honest, or
else he is very sanfu. I sort of salute him.
Eventually we can be honest, finally.
Sometimes when I observed around, just like Lucy (I have
forgotten her name, I think is Helan…); I think she have a lovely family. She
seemed pretty closed to her kids. The father is not bad, can joke with his son.
I thought: How great it would be to have a happy family kan? It is a place
where we built our safe nest, a place where we call HOME.
So how about gay people like me? At the end, as a
self-proclaimed life-scientist, I still hold on the theory that male and female
are meant to be together. It is a natural God-given way to reproduce and have
cute kids; unless something happened to the genomes lah, then u get weird
babies coming out from the womb. CHOI!
I used to get bo-syok when he went out with her; because the
way he told me is like wanna sembunyi like that. Well, I understand liao now.
He loves her pretty much, and I always duno where I stand in his heart.
But now no more loh. I think I should open up myself to more
options. Going out to meet guys ah. I am still young, he can’t be the ONLY one
in my world! Not saying that I go out SLUT around lah, but do think it is
practical to hold on with someone who never gave u any promise anything. I
think I deserve the rights to go out with others and so as he.
It has been 3 days since we last met. I decided not to text
much lovey-dovey messages to him since I know that she has came back. I duwan
kacau lah. I duwan he felt guilty or what too.
Tonight he text me to check out how I was. I summarized my
day. It was pretty mundane. I struggled: should I tell him that I missed him. I
really do. And I did.
Well, think about his way, even though male and female are
able to reproduce. But love is a different thing. You can still have sex even
though there is not much love involved, if lust is considered a type of love.
I really missed him. I duwan fake like I dun miss him. I
wanna tell him. How often u can find someone who treat u better than normal
friends? It has been 10 months. So far there is no guy whom I had romantic
feelings with can hang around with me for such a long time. He did.
I am trying out something. I am experimenting. Wish me luck J
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