Kopitiam Kopi-O panas

Sunday night I talked to SW and I was smacked on my face: Follow yr heart, love can't be rationalized much by brain cells. It is something from the heart, not the brain. We talked from 12-1am and I text him once I said Goodnight to SW as she walked back to her block. "XXX, I wanted you! I loved you!"

Yet, the future is uncertained. There is no definite answers and I can only wait. I am happy with the decision I made but it remains my decision. He has his inner problems that I could only give him emotional support, no matter what I am to him, at least I am there for him, as his outlet. (What am talking about? Outlet?)

Was chatting with him on FB. He told he was accompanying his friend for some interview. His is the driver again. Haha. While waiting, he ordered Kopi-O panas at a kopitiam.

Haha, to me kopi-o is some old folk drinks. Old...

Then I thought, will we be together? I know he is not sure, I duno why he is not sure as well, but then I asked: Duno if we will be drinking this when we are old?

And I asked him not to answer, then I said: Gambateh with yr day ah, kawan.

I purposedly used Kawan. We have been using Hebi all the while. What does it means?

Can I pretend that the insecurity is gone? I am just bad in relationship lah, relationship is not like taking a degree. Sigh...

Dear, definitely it is some beautiful scenery, but then... Oh well, like I am not capable of living alone... Am I?

I am selfish too. No one wants to be hurt. But, like it or not, it will happen, right now, the future is vague...