But this year, though nothing official, but I got a present (pretty expensive) from someone; and I gave away one as well to him (less than RM10 because they well all chinese remedy to ease heat and stomachache, and some sweets because he hated Western medicine, just in case he is still taking.)
Very fortunate. Very happy. And very heart-warming :-)
Friends did ask me: Hei you seems to be dating with someone, or else why the smile on your face?
All I can say was: Nuh~ We are just friends, nothing official- with a smile :-)
(And I did PURPOSELY mention that gay relationship never last, because someone was there, saja wanna create some wrong philosophy look to confuse him. LOL~)
I thought I would feel resentment, but I did not. It felt like it was good enough to have someone so good to me, though nothing official (Haha, felt like orang lain punya mistress pulak~)
It is sort of odd, but I am somehow grateful to be able to feel all these mixed feeling. A new one.
What is love? Does love need to be acknowledged? Is it reason-driven (For example, I like him because he is this and that; sort of something like realistic and conscious de lah)? Or is it emotional-driven (usually without a concrete reason, "I like him because I like him" those sort of answer?) Will love be permanent? Expiry date? Preservative?
With him, I have developed an idea that love can be ever-changing. When you bump into someone better, it is either u stay with the current one, or u choose to follow your heart and go with the better one. When ur in love with someone, it is like out of control, u just wanna see him, u wanna be him most of the time.
Ah... what am I writing!!! Rushing for thesis planning, later lecture come to ask me to design logo, article belum reading habis... Argh. Will write a more organized one next time when I am free lah. Just to share this awesome video, Taiwan people always have great things to share lah! And this video inspired me to go all the way to PJ to have lunch with him, but end up spending half of the day with him, very happy :-)
(In contrast, even though I am gay, I would like to get marry with the guy I love... Hehe)
Dear Hebi, I will respect yr decision. Life is short, don't get too stress over it. We must take good care of ourselves!
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