Just another gay story

I am attracted to male- aka the homo sapien subspecies that comes together with an extendable appendage in between their legs. In the 21 century, I am called a homosexual (homo: similar) or my best friend "addressed" me as the faggot (considered rather offensive... again, it's up to how u label the particular word~) or most of the time "gay lou" (in cantonese, gay= gay while lou= guy.)

Thanks to my parents or perhaps the carnivorous diet before getting into uni, I am a proud owner of a 179cm/72kg anatomy (though a recent medical check-up has shown me having low HDL and high level of testosterone & progesterone, huh???) Having known that a better anatomy will get myself an upper hand in finding a boyfriend, I hit the gym (currently the gym rakyat yang u bayak satu ringgit dan guna satu ari suntuk) 3-4 times a week given I have the right time management lah. (Sg. Petani ada lebih kurang 10 orang laki-laki Melayu panas!!! Tapi nampaknya semuanya lurus~)

I am currently attending a public university and I am studying something ranging from human body systems to the name of the flies (which comes with confusing spelling like rusifasia or whatever megacephala); and talking about the fucking course I have enrolled myself into- so as the rest of the 80 something course mate, as well as the 180 little lambs from UIA- I have zero idea what the heck I am gonna do after grad!!! And today someone told me some 1st class honor UKM biomedical science graduate went teaching in school!!! WTF!!! Well, getting into uni is no deal after all, it's just a different pathway of life niah~ By the way, I stupidly turn down two scholarships offered by LKW University (Bachelor Degree in graphic design) and MIA (Diploma in fashion & textile design) because many people told me that I will starve to death doing art in Malaysia. Haha, quite true though for the time being~

Yeah, I like fashion, art & design thingy. I will go crazy with creative graffiti spread at the Sg. Kelang @ Pasar Seni. According to a cool mix breed princess hailed from Cameron Highlands and a lawyer will-be Klang kid, I have a rather la-la style (please refer to the Chinese teenagers hanging out at Sg. Wang): blonde hair at the middle part of my head (limited from February to July 2011) and black long pointy finger nails (whenever I am able to keep them long, definitely not now because of industrial training in a government hospital till 17 June 2011.)

JUDAS and BORN THIS WAY are currently played every day before I jump onto my Yamaha 100 zooming to the hospital singing MUDA by HUJAN along the way. I get emotional watching Yasmin Ahmad's film, especially GUBRA. And I guess I still remember the dance steps of LUCIFER by SHINEE- a Korean group.

I am a fan Mariana Mahathir's MUSING and Prof. Azmi Sharom's BRAVE NEW WORLD in THE STAR; and most of the time I can't stop myself from laughing while reading Mary Schneider's BUT THEN AGAIN. I don' t read newspaper much because I am lazy but then I believed the murder of Altantuya has made a horrible music video dedicated to her beloved fat face husband- I think the music video has been deleted from Youtube, but I managed to download it. LOL~ And Mr Teoh Beng Hock had definitely not committed suicide!

During holy-days, I refused to work for I wanted to spend time with my mom selling Ham Chim Peng at a horrible kopitiam while helping her shooing away crazy customers by making funny faces before them. Meanwhile, my father slapped me 10 times by the face when I challenged him to do so after I snatched his cigarette away. 

Of all these stories, I am still the 22 going 23 SKP at the end of the day. I eat and I shit. I have no difference from any other presumed to be "normal" human beings puffing away and cutting queues, apart from the facts the I am sexually aroused by hot sexy guys and I don't think I can produce any baby after copulation (Mr. Karate likes to use this word =.=) with my hubby (which is non-existence at the moment.) I don't feel like being called as having perverted sickness by anyone. I do recycling to help out the dying earth; I don't kill mosquitoes for I believe they are just doing it to stay alive; If only more normal people can just see things the way we see, and feel the way we feel~

To me, LOVE is more than just having someone to live with and offspring production. I am looking for someone whom I feel meaningful to wake up seeing him by my side as well as secured closing my eyes beside him when night falls every day. 

p/s: I don't really wear underwear most of the time, so you cannot find CK or John Galliano or Private Structure in my wardrobe- but I do own one boxer from Luomo'. Hehe~

pp/s: Ohya, before I forget, I like to tease people with terrible jokes which some people find me extremely annoying.

Come and go

In our life, people come and go. Some may leave a lot of impacts while some may get forgotten the next moment. For the pass 5 days I have been texting with a guy I got to know thanks to Eddy (he is super straight LOL~)

I met him after hitting the gym on Monday night. He may not be the best looking guy in town but he definitely caught me with his constant mini report on what the heck he was doing. Hanging out with Jia Lame (that CIBAI nerd-turn-socialite!!! Dye his effing hair lagi!!!) lah; packing lah; tea-break lah.

I gonna admit that I do get addicted to certain things very fast. And yeah I have got addicted to his constant reporting. He texted and I replied. Soon, a conversation mah go pik-plak loh (the sound of the firecracker ah~).

 

Best thing never last. Mr SMS will be leaving Sg. Petani for good the next day. I have already made every hint clear to meet up for the second time but then he was busy getting together with his coursemates and packing. He was only back around 11:30pm and I have planned to crash on my bed by 12am. My mom will definitely be asking and I don't wanna use my best friend's name as an excuse to go out at night again.

Eventually I switched on my lappy and wrote this~

                                                       

I needed someone; and perhaps he does as well. May be that why we clicked kinda fast. One part of me wanted back the good old intimacy, while another part of me kept reminding me that it would not be wise to do anything silly knowing someone for less than a week!

Perhaps deep inside I still cannot get over with the past... WTF!!!

Owh... People are like ber-maksiat-ing at market place and I am here in the house saving my lungs from poison gases and shu-ing the praying mantis posing on the cushions. Some Russian religious freak predicted that the world will officially come to an end tomorrow but I guess it will be another day Gaga-ing the hospital. Gambateh SKP!!!

LOVE & HATE

LOVE is a topic I just come to scrutinize and dissect after my previous relationship. It felt like I am already there (understanding it), but there's still something missing. I still have not fully comprehended its intangible anatomy. (I think I am still very much at the ideal stage, not much of reality.)

I was watching NTV7 with my half-asleep father in the living room and I came across a news report regarding an old mother with her 28 years old son who lives with Down's syndrome. It was jaw-dropping to hear her story on how she brought up her youngest son since the day he was born. Knowing the fact that life is short and unexpected, she was worried about her son’s life in case she is no longer around. At the end of the footage, she asked her son to kiss her and there were tears... 

She could have left him at the orphanage 20+ years ago or she could have not bothered much; so as to live a life with fewer burdens or perhaps got married again with a rich guy?! (She became a widow when her youngest son was around 2 years old.) Why she chose to stay back at the wooden house taking care of an adult who has little difference compared to a 5 years old kid?

HATE, some said it is the other side of love. Let’s just take May 13 as an example. Why did one group of people come and attack another group of people? Did everyone in the former group insult everyone in the latter group personally? Or did everyone from the latter group offend everyone in the former group personally? It was just crazy! We are not talking about mere argue; it was something huge that involves wound and blood!

I have been talking a pretty long time to write this and now I am kinda lost. What I wanna highlight here is that LOVE can be so blind, as well as HATE. It seems that emotions are based on how we label a certain matter. 

In the LOVE example, she sees him as her son- not much of a person with mental defect. When he broke a pot or go empty-minded, she will probably find excuses for him. Where else in the HATE example, a group of people viewed another group of people as enemies- not much of similar human beings who just wanted a peaceful living. Hurting someone physically involved a mind which has been plagued by so much of hatred and grudge. 

So when u look at your boyfriend or girlfriend, who do you see? A sex toy? An ear to listen to your lousy rant? A living mannequin to kill time? A person whom u admire? A person that makes life worth living for together?

Foo~ I have got a mom to entertain and myself to empower! Felt tired pulak all of a sudden L

Take care and please reply

Call me naive or whatever, I still believe u have some reasons behind that u wanna keep to yourself. After all, you are the stupid guy who wanted to act caring and accompany me back to Titiwangsa all the way from Jaya One after 11pm. (by taking public transport u know!! What the heck was he thinking!! And that was the last time we hugged and met each other~ Anyway, it’s history now~)

Thanks to the surge of courage after reading a motivational book, and so I texted:

"Hei, how are u doing? Have not heard from u! I didn't dare to call or text u, thinking that u may not like it. But today I felt great that's why I am brave enough to text u. Just let me know whether you are dead or alive okay~ I hope we are still on speaking terms. And I hope I am not another Vincent to u. Take care and please reply :-)"

I guess one thing that's people don't really like about me is that I like to do whatever things I feel like doing no matter they like it or not. But again, sometimes we just need to take advantage of the boost of courage and confidence to do the stuffs that we are reluctant or afraid to do. Perhaps that’s the reason people keep pumping alcohol into their system to suppress their shyness in the club? (By the way, alcohol is a depressant, not stimulant; which explains why people start spitting weird info when they are drunk~)

The clock stroke 12 midnight and I still haven’t received any respond from you. Fine, I guess it takes time. I just hope we can get over with the left-over feeling between us, given if there’s any in you.

Have I moved on? Perhaps I am already on my way~

Pre-LOVE & HATE

I have always pressured myself to hug my mom every single time I went back to KL, but I have never done it till now. I just don't really know when to the right time to do so~ My mom feels that it's not suitable to date even after Form 5, so there's a higher possibility that wrapping my arms around her all of a sudden may freak her out! The good news is- she is free from any major cardiovascular disease and killing her with a hug would be unlikely; but should I risk ending up with an awkward 1 minute?!

Why am I bothered to pull a stunt that may embarrass me? Well, the TzuChi people always never fail to remind everyone that "never wait for good deed and being filial"... so I thought that a hug may make my mom feel super duper happy... (OMG! My son is hugging me!!!) Um, not many Eastern people get to be hugged in their entire life mah~ Unless you're gay and Western-like lah~

On the second Sunday of May, now... which is already another 15 minutes left before the clock strikes 7:00pm, I gave up the entire oh-mom-I-can't-live-without-you idea. Dining out would be something decent and lovely, thanks to my elder brothers :-) I shall also kept that half done card for next year too~ Tak ade mood nak buat conteng-conteng skrang lah~

Happy mommi day :-) (I did tell her in the morning before going out~)

p/s: I just heard my mom "Ah Pei ah, nei oi yam Milo mou? Ji hai oi Horlicks?" (“Ah Pei ah, do you wanna drink Milo or Horlicks?”- She thinks that Horlicks is extremely nutritious, what the?! Isn't she cute~)