To father with love

Father, this position or the person to be awarded with this noun, ideally supposed to be someone strong and with the power to protect the individuals that he has assembled under one roof, of what the "norm" called family.

Oh Lord thank you for your most generous mercy, I have been able to call someone with the name "papa" in the house. Well, on the bright side I can think that I am fortunate for not being labelled as orphan or semi-orphan (hei, I could have gone to London to study Actuarial sc. when I mentioned "My father died before I was even born" in the JPA interview); but then when the my mind is no longer on the bright side, he is not someone who has given the family a lot of happy moments. For instance, he would start to grumble when the family spent a little bit more time shopping (who asked u to have accidentally raised a gay son ah?!!), he smoked in front of me (credits to SKP for still be able to resist himself from picking up any cigarette!), he used pain and vulgarity to teach lessons (he used to call me sei kuai zai- direct translation means "the son of the ghost"; Duh, I am your son okay! I wonder whether he has ever thought this particular phrase also reflected the father as well~ Funny~)

I cannot really blamed EVERYTHING on him-for that's kinda too harsh!!! He didn't even go to high school or get any diploma or degree- or else I would be writing this @ SP's Starbucks wearing CK boxer LOL~ Life has been pretty hard during his time and everyone was struggling for a living by working working and working; and the man who has given me part of his genes had already started working at construction site or something- seriously UKM could have awarded him with a Master in woodcraft and house-building (definitely not HOME-building!!! But still I can award him with a second class degree in it lah, haha~ After all, I am still alive till the age of near 23 and has got Band 5.5 in MUET- all thanks to him being too stupid to be coaxed into buying a tiny laptop-like English learning computer when I was like before kindergarten~)

As the Cantonese saying goes: The older the ginger, the spicier it gets- meaning those who have come across a lot of life experience tends to be wiser. Unfortunately, this can ONLY apply to his expertise in working with woods and cements, nothing apart from this. At the age of 68, I expect a father is able to give his gay son some guidance and wisdom by being a good role model... Argh~ Just forget about it~

This lou-ye (this Cantonese name is used by the housekeeper in ancient time to address the head of the house; and I called him this to tease his noble position as the head of the house =.=) only follows the ever repeating super-extremely-horrible-mundane-lacking-serious-creativity-and-innovation-plus-passion sequence of daily life: wake up, exercise (I suspected it's by walking barely 100 steps guah-  because his main intention is to smoke!!!), eat, read newspaper, eat, watch nearly 8 daily news reports (I still dun get it, what's the point of listening to the repeating news reports!!! Not like he knows what is happening around him), eat (again), nap, watch drama that he has the slightest idea on what's happening to the storyline, nap, eat, watch TV, eat (yes, again, this time dinner), watch TV, eat (the last portion for the day), and sleep.

I did ask him why can't he just do something healthy for old folks like going for Tai-Chi or planting Bonzai plants (something for sure, my artistic sense did not originate from him!!!) but he just shy away and asked me what he can do? I was like WTF!!! Don't u know what to do before u die? Okay, it is definitely not going to the brothels or going for strip shows blah blah blah~ And suddenly something terrifying creeps in- that he has not really live a life of his own; that he doesn't have a hobby or something~ Sigh~ Oh my dear father~

He had gone through strokes for 3 times and yet he argued that he gonna eat whatever he wants to eat because life is short (Helo, yes, life is short, but I ain't gonna end it earlier or live longer being paralysed on the bed...) Perhaps his brain has got a bit fuzzy after 3 times of strokes- you know, part of his brain that coordinates the right thinking might have died off years ago- and now I am seeing him as a semi-insane person in the house. This is the best solution so far for this method allows him to be "liberated" while stops me getting insane before he does.

But of all the shit and funny stuffs that he did, I still wish I could have been more patient and tolerant towards him. Instead of saying that he is a nuisance in the house, somehow I have become a more patient and tolerant individual-seeing good things in the midst of hell.

After all, he is still the man who has given his strength and time to buy me expensive toys and coconut sweets plus other snacks every single night when I was really small ;-) I won't say that he is my favorite man, like it or not, he is still my father, tied by faith and random ovulation of my mom's ovum somewhere in the oviducts 23 years ago~ Haha. But seriously, he could have been better ;-)

Oh, should I change the title of this post? I did not dedicate any LOVE word to him. Haha~