It has been the 5th month
we have known each other and we have never actually quite failed to meet each
other every single week. Even back in the Chinese New Year period, he came to
visit me in Sungai Petani and gave me a mixture of jolt and puzzlement when he
strode into the deserted Tesco Selatan in Sungai Petani (Yeah! There are 2
Tescos in Sungai Petani; one located at the northern part and the other at the
southern part.)
Nonetheless, the fact
that he is still staying under one roof with his "girl friend"
(seriously I have no idea how to categorize her status, he claimed that both of
them is no longer bound in relationship but he cannot seem to be able to let
her go because they have been 3 years together; I somehow see myself and the
"lelaki simpanan" lah. I know... E-yew...) made him unable to be
officially single. Yeah lah I know, kinda mixed up kan, if this were an issue
in the office or work related matter, I would have forced him out of an answer.
But still, this is relationship and human matters, I felt that this is no
monkey business; he is in struggle. He prefers to let things flow by itself;
but he also understand that it is not fair for me. I mean we have been doing
things that couples are doing, at least that is what I felt lah. If I were to
force an answer out of him, I thought that I would have been selfish (because I
have been thinking about my own insecurity instead of him).
Somehow, since we are not
officially together, we also felt odd to use the pronounce DEAR; instead we
used HEBI. (OMG, the reason I wrote this is because I felt abit emo about it
but now it felt like something jubilant pulak? Haha) HEBI means 虾米 in Hokkiean. The came-about of this
term was once I was in a pretty down mood and he drove me to Genting Klang for
dinner. We set down in a pan-mee shop and he asked me whether I wanted HEBI.
Before that I was in a pretty grumpy face, but he put a smile on face (plus a
giggle) when he said that in a childish accent. HEBI HEBI :-) It was back in a
I-have-forgotten-time, but definitely within the 5 month time loh.
(Oh dah sampai Auto-city! I am writing
this on a TRANSNATIONAL bus, I supported TRANSNATIONAL like how some rakyat
supported BN. Haha)
Supposedly it something sad lah, but
then again, the more I think, I just felt happy... Ain I stupid?
I am gonna be out of the varsity in
another 2.5 months time and he will be out in another month. I duno what will
happen in the future,I don't dare to think, somehow.
Hopefully, in the near future, when the alarm
start buzzing at 6:45am, I would be able to stop it on time so as to not wake
the tiny hunk beside me, get up and paste a notepad on a cup of salt water
saying: Good morning HEBI, another day to work loh, gambateh! Signed, HEBI. (because he sleeps more than me and late than me, most of the time :p)
(Nevermind if Malaysia recognized gay marriage, no one cares anyway, unless some people wanna buat pandai "Oh we wanna
protect the religious institution of
the country" like now loh, bullshit lah. People don't just suddenly become gay for nothing,
it is a great deal of challenge ahead okay, lagi lagi if ur a Malay in Malaysia.
Foo... Things just can't get more interesting in Malaysia, for the gay scene.)
Posted this one day before I wanna go back KL. Gila punya orang (I mean myself lah...)
Esok boleh jumpa HEBI liao :P
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