Coco

Coco, a ten-year-old male dog (probably quite elder for dogs) is dying. He has been XXX's company ever since in his ugly years in Secondary school back in Bukit Mertajam (if not mistaken, he was part of the family since 2003.) XXX has an exam tomorrow morning, right after that, he gonna rush back to BM by car and get ready with the cremation and all that. On Wednesday, he will be required to hand in his Final Year Project. Wednesday he gonna work work and work.

J told me that day in a catching-up session (which I felt pretty stressful because she seemed to try to persuade me into joining her business thingy) that we need to be clear of what we wanted, our priority.

So in this case, is Coco XXX's priority? Perhaps, with pretty great extend, but then due to the upcoming life events such as an exam and a final year project, coco's last moment of life, unfortunately have been put to the next itinerary of the priority list. I know, like it or not, we need to keep some choices so that we can still stay alive in the coming days. An exam is nothing, so as the final year project, but if he screwed these things up, his degree is at stake, and this is the LAST stage of getting the scroll after years of study and sleepless nights before this.

I am not saying this as thought I will throw away everything and went back straight to BM because of Coco, most probably I will do the same as XXX. Think of this way, perhaps Coco only recognized XXX as another organism that provides food? I know, slap me! People often put their imagination on things, oh yeah, it is called faith?

There are things that I don't believe in and there are things that I believe in, for example cremation. What is the difference of putting the ashes of the loved one in an urn under a special building and spreading it into the sea or onto the ground of one's backyard? Like ur gonna visit that place everyday, why not put inside yr room? For me I just think that the soul or the "THING" has left the body that made up of protein, fat, minerals and water, the soul or the "THING" won't probably feel anything, be it inside an urn, or in the sea or the ground. Again, it is my weird thoughts. I respect XXX's decision of the special cremation and decided to pay for part of the expenses.

But I have to say, like it or not, I think Coco has accompanied XXX for half of his life and he deserved something good than nothing, doing something is better than doing nothing kan? What has happened had happened, there are moments that XXX was not with Coco once he came to study in KL since 2008, and I thought, XXX could have brought Coco along with him after half a year in KL? Food for thought, things could have been better, but perhaps this will happen lah... Aiya, no IF anymore lah. The PRESENT the PRESENT!!!

I think this event served as a reminder for me and him on what to put into the priority list. What is important to us. And some of us change according to time and experience, thus we need to have conversation with ourselves from time to time.... Ah... what sort of bullshit am I talking about?

Anyway, not quite in the mood these days as I have a simple sketch coming up next week, future planning to do, a jump start for the stagnant thesis, a some shitty assignment from ADHD woman. Life goes on, just I have learned to rant on a virtual space using words. I foresee this blog as one of the future easy outlet for me to release my tension, but i will strongly prefer to upgrade my socializing skill. Why keep facing a lifeless screen when we also have a lot of lonely souls in KL, the city of maksiat? Haha

I am sorry, I grew to become cynical these days.

God blesses Coco, all the best for you!