Called me moody or whatever~ Today was really a tough day to begin with!
First I got myself into 4 hours of lecture and ended up getting zero stuff out of it! Yeah, I am blaming myself for not preparing anything before the lecture, but I ain’t gonna spare the fat ass for talking nonsense in front; dragging a 30 minute lecture into a 1 hour 30 minutes lecture! Fuck u! Wasted my time! And my apology for the second lecturer, I am sure u realized that everyone in the lecture hall understood nothing more than you were mumbling something in front, which I think could have been very informative if you illustrated everything systemically on a white board. Again, I understand that you’re not capable of teaching 200 plus undergraduates by using a white board, but I am sure something could have been done! We are in a university where creativity flows (ideally~) for God’s sake!
NAGASAKI BOMBING! I was like so naively convincing myself that I got “A” for industrial technology, which in fact the possibility would equal to Williaw was in love with me since Form 1 (Williaw is a straight guy whom I fell in love with at first sight… still pretty much wondering how deep was the love actually~) And guess what? I got “B”! Okay fine~ I am not surprised anyway. But still, I allow myself to make a scene in the lecture hall, shouting around like a dimbo.
Next! It’s Advanced biomolecular’s turn! The conversation went about like…
“Tell me I got “A” for it!!!”
“Oh, you got “C-”…”
“… …”
I was crestfallen for that moment… I was bombarded with all those negative thoughts:
“You’re just a useless being….”
“He got himself someone and yet he is still so great on his studies… and you? Mou Ngan Tai~”
“You’re just wasting your fucking time in this uni!”
“Why you stop excelling in your studies? Have you become that dumb?”
I learned nothing for the entire day, which is totally pathetic! Fell like quitting uni! I can no longer bear the non-existing success and satisfaction in my uni life! This is seriously sad!!! Oh man~
But then I reminded myself to put an end to the whole drama. I told myself: EVEN THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS GIVEN UP ON ME, AS LONG AS I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP, I SHALL RISE AGAIN!
Eventually I did something that I felt useful by helping out with the Japan Tsunami funding-raising in a night market. Fu~ I won’t give up okay! I won’t give up!
“U better not give up or i will ( fill in the blanks) u.”
Haha, dear Siew Wei, thanks for saying this. You’re like the sole supporter, still giving your best cheer at the far far away seat~
Drafting for the Piala Seri Endon 2011 during Advanced Biomolecular lecture~
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