Fear & hope

I am new to the company, barely 3 month old. However, there is a guy beside me, he told me that it would be his last day tomorrow. I wished him all the best, feeling a bit sad somehow from within, not knowing the exactly cause.

I went out "eat snake" at Artisan coffee with my ex-colleagues, one of them told me that she will be leaving once she has got all her projects done. She said that she may be working for a partner company, but then the environment may not be the same. The size of the mentioned company will be smaller and the workload will increase somehow. It felt like a tough decision but she is calmed. I wished her all the best.

I chatted with a guy I "harassed". He said he wanted to move over to Singapore for a better living quality. I guessed he wanted to earn more. I wished him all the best.

The three scenario left with doubts and fear on the choices I have made. Should I have just went over to Singapore? What is happening to Malaysia, living cost is getting higher and higher and the political scene is not fancy up there. I felt weak. I thought of the people I felt that I could cling on, but they are already attached and I can only settle it myself.

Yet to think about it, some people just managed to pull it through. Think about Karate guy who went to Singapore and survived just like that. Yes Malaysia seems dangerous, but if no one to stand up and support, it will definitely fall. I am reluctant to move away from the country as someone I am sort of rooted here, or I am in my comfort zone. There is a feeling of lost when one have no where or no one to go back to.

SKP must be strong. Despite alone, FUCK IT I CAN DO IT! As cliché as it may sound, the glass is always half full and there is always two sides to a situation. If one leaves the company, wish his best of luck, on the other side, you have less competition. So chill, there is possibility anywhere, SKP needs to grab them and turn them all into 7-8 inch living dicks to fuck my tight hole!

Ps: I know, my emotion is a roller coaster. I should write more positive stuffs, but then this is my emotional landfill. Oh well, I think I may need to open up another blog, addressing positive matters.