Hello my name is...

Been running around, after SG meeting, then Northern business trip, topped up with unnecessary drama from childish and ego dinosaur. That is another story to tell anyway.

Before I flew to SG, I broke up with bottom guy and average guy. The former due to dying passion, the latter due to me unwillingly to be involved in a relationship that started and will be progressing in a course that I don't fancy.

However, the main theme is not about these two histories, it is about a new beginning. Hehe! (Me so evil...)

So while the drama between 2 men, I decided to do something different- volunteered for a brain-washing event. Well, it is fine as long as they are not preaching horrible things, just boring and overtly empathy things that I learned not to get too much attached too.

Anyway, I chose to STEAM BUNS. (Not like cum on 6-pack, no no no!) So I noticed this guy with pretty nice arms and chest. Hmmm yummy. Shy face, occasionally act innocent and smiling. He caught my attention. As resourceful as always, I found his number and FB and terus text him la. I actually contemplated to text him, eventually I sent a flirty watsapp. I was crazy. But he replied, and took it easy. Then the story between me and him started.

Met up. Found out that he is balding. 3 years elder than me. Vege guy. Of course, likes guys too. Haha. He was pretty disappointed knowing me having dating partner. We didn't text much after that, he said I am a good guy, I thought- where does that came from? Haha.

After I came back from Penang, I told him that I am single. We started meeting up la. Went to makan with him at 1 mont kiara. Actually at the restaurant I am already touching his waist and abs already, and he didn't even resist at the beginning, before I move further. heheeh! Eventually ler, we had our first kiss at the car park.

SKP: Come. I offered myself already.

SPL: (stared at me, push me away) what the hell ur doing?

SKP: I am sure you know what I am trying to do. Nevermind la. (I withdrew)

I offered again. He thought for 2 seconds. He kissed me, pretty wild I tell u. He asked: happy now? I kissed him twice, he didn't reject. Haha.

Anyway, cut to the chase, we have been dating like 1 week perhaps? I forgotten. He said as if we have known each other for pretty long time. Same like what hebi said last time actually. Is that a sign? Haha.

He fall sicked. I thought, I have not been resting for a while, so may as well take EL la. I drove him to KL to pick up some documents from his customer, mana tahu semua MC, pre-puasa syndrome kot. I spent like RM70 buying things to him (cereal, milk, 枇杷膏, redoxon, 龟林膏.) I told him 龟林膏 is had trace amount of tortoise shell, he looked at me and found it very funny. We went to Kepong village mall. Hehe.

Along the journey, I think we have been holding hands for 90% of the time. It felt natural. Occasionally, I warned him of the drivers or motorcyclists may have seen two men holding hands in the silver Myvi, he didn't give a fuck. Haha. 

What I liked about the monk, ohya, let's call him monk, being a vegetarian, having such will to not kill, kind guy, though going to botak soon, with pretty much white hairs, I said I can accept because he has good body- damned nice chest I tell u. He asked me if I can be with him because of true love, I laughed and I asked him to keep on hitting the gym. Inside, I thought I would try, perhaps once a while, you will meet someone that sex doesn't really mean anything? Ohya, monk is a pretty horny, on par with SKP. If things jadi, I will talk more about monk on my FB. Hehe.

 

Strangers.

Currently dating someone. He is a bottom. Then I am sort of convinced that I enjoy the process of pursuing things, not really the outcome. To me, the future seems vague, nonetheless we still go out and I still treat him like my date or bf.

Before that, I met this average looking guy. Honest nerd look. I am not sure how we stared but I ended up riding on him eventually. Good size and on the contrary to the nerd look, he said he likes to dominate. And hence he dominated me.

I asked average guy several times, he said he likes my face, not much on my body. I actually enjoyed people saying what they liked about me, well who doesn't right? I said my face is just average, and my body is perhaps the attractive part according to majority feedback (waseh!). But the odd thing is average guy said he enjoyed talking to me, he felt freedom. I thought, dead, am I potentially the third party? Yes, he is with someone rich and odd.

The few days we had sex. We had twice in a day. I seduced him for the second time. The second time we did it, he just hugged me for a pretty long time, I was kinda sleepy though, but I caught him staring at me, I asked him why but he kept quiet. Eventually he said this is comfortable, just let it be.

Days later we talked about our relationship again. I kept saying that he likes my body and blah blah blah. He said he just likes the face. Being another poet guy, he re-watched those film by some famous super-art film- 《重庆森林》.

If you know about this film, it seems the producer is trying to tell that the strangers that you know nothing about walking by us everyday, could be a friend or someone, or continues to be stranger, to us in the future. Something like this, he said if we didn't met at the saloon, he would probably end up with no fuck buddy.

Looking back at bottom guy, I guess, probably I am just gonna play along, I don't think I can satisfy his sexual need, nor can he. At times, I thought, taking example of average guy, who is currently with a top, I wonder if one day, I would just end up with a straight guy, that we can just tfk and blowjob, habis. Oh well. Aimless.

Ethical property investment x office stories

Its Saturday, I did plenty of procrastination to compensate the no-sex weekend night or no-party night. Oh well, trying to convince myself to get a property. Not feeling sleepy, so I decided to write something. In short, two stories in one post.

Friday night with the poet

Poet text and hinted wanna go out with me to chill. Not sure what's that for but I agreed as usually there is something entertaining and insightful to hang out with a 36 years old guy who live much like a poet, artist, no property, use iPhone 6, yearns for a vespo but currently riding on some other brands. Apart from bitching about no-brainer neighbour (in which I called a stop to it because talking about people is the lowest level of intellectual development, haah! pretty fun though, like porn, it helps nothing much actually), we talked about family and property investment following my statement that I wished to adopt. He convinced me to bring my mom and aunt to a short get-away like genting or cameron. Then I said I wanna adopt a kid blah blah and subsequently stirred up the so-called ethical way of property investment. Well basically he said we should not buy houses (plural, mind you.) and sell it off for a higher price as a form of earning income, because eventually the next generation gonna suffer simply because no one gonna afford a house by him/herself. I thought, doing charity (saying things like u wanna save the world from hunger and stuff. I mean are u gonna give away 50% of your pay to someone else by the road side? This is a tough decision ler.) has become a luxury. People at the lower income side would need to keep on working to survive, the rich can have time to think about doing charity, the middle class are stuck. I guessed I was lucky to have landed myself in an MNC that paid pretty handsome. One should be smart and wise I guessed, one need to save oneself before saving others. No one gonna be bother about you when you're old and alone and pennyless, especially the gay people. I told myself, earn enough, get a property, pay off little loans, probably do some small business and let it run by itself some sort of passive income (oh dun talk about Amway and direct sales, I don't quite fancy those kinda passive income.) I said to him, I gonna tell my son to be wise, save your ass, and balanced it between doing things for others benefit. Back up plans dear, like Urahara Kisuke, think of 1000 possibilities and back up plans. Drunken master told me: in order to help others, one need to be up there with power, then it is when you can have the power and authority to help. I thought, when you have power, the urge of corruption is also very great. Eventually, I said I duwan to be fake like no-brainer neighbour, get probably 2 property in my life, one in Kedah one in KL, and bring mom and aunt to a short trip in cameron.

Office stories

Went out with the cunning ex-colleague and her bunch of sarawak friends, we talked about politics scenes in Malaysia and some office stories. We are pretty fed up with the I-dun-care attitudes even in MNC, making it like the government sectors. I believe it has something to do with the management culture, not much on whether it is MNC or government. There are people in the company that lies or boast their way to their advantage position, but we wonder how long people can do that, I mean it is fake and hallow, we didn't understand though. Some people could not get out of the company because they are too comfortable and they have no market value outside anyway. There is always a greener pasture outside and it is not that bad, they said. I thought I may need to finish off the projects before I leave, unless the offer is too great, otherwise it would just scratch my records and un-ethical. But then again, what is being ethical means in an office. People's boss is money, position, and power, not the business actually. What say you?

THE END. I decided to wake up late and not join the recycle activity. Ciao.

Money matter. Baby. Hospital.

Today is Friday and somehow I felt rather burnt out. People asked me why I said perhaps it came from me. First the travelling thing and then perhaps the frustration from updating sales data with incomplete data at the eleventh minute; I always like to do these kinda data punching thing last minute. I asked myself now and then, should I be less perfectionist at moments of limited timing? Only to realize that I spent half of the time dwelling on this matter.

Following on, I had quick lunch alone, later on joined by a young mother/ a colleague of mine. I asked her about the labour process and get taken away by the vagina-snipping and vagina-stitching stories. Not her though, she had a pretty quick labour, which took about 1.5 hours. She is ready for the second, or the third, to bet for a baby girl. She said a daughter would probably provide her with the joy of having more feminine element in her later life, the shopping, the make-ups, girly girly things. I am not sure if she has considered the possibility of a daughter that resembled something like Lorelai Girlmore. But I am sure she won’t be something like Emily Gilmore. Ahh I just thought of good destress activities tonight, rather than the initial plan of smoking in gay club.

(I wanna write longer but I guess it would be boring so I cut short la…there I am in a premium hospital’s NICU, where I am required to demonstrate the device, or simply, the easy channel of helping the lab to market their test (eh fucker you woman!) to the paediatric.)

In the NICU I get the rare chance of looking at pre-mature (there is a better word for this, something preante-something something.) and new borns. Tiny and sleepy are the words I would use on them. The funny things about new borns are they can cry and then shut up within that 1-2 minute. Young parents would have freaked up with these events if not informed earlier. I stared at the new lives. Probably the young lady nurses would be thinking, this guy gila izzit? I can’t differentiate if they are male or female, they all looked like potential tiny Songkran clubbers with diapers. They could be gay, lesbians, or paranoid transgender. (Talking about paranoid transgender, I have some stories to tell, that would be in the next post, if I still have the mood la, really cibai people I tell u, oh wait, I should not generalize, THAT particular paranoid transgender couple.) Apparently new borns are easier to take care before the can aspire to infant stunt babies. Haha!

Anyhow, I was in the NICU for 3 hours, I met this paediatric lady doctor who came back from UK, practicing in Malaysia for 2 years already. She wanna know the cost of the test, by a common sense due to business confidential, doctors are not supposed to know the cost of the test. Her experience, many people gone into hospital without realizing the cost of the treatment and everything. (sien to write d…)

In short, she said health care should be made available to everyone, just like in the UK, where doctors felt more dignified rather than posing the first question: are you covered by insurance? If cost is not a problem, the health care professional can use the best affordable health care system to put the patient at best of care. This is an ideal situation. We are probably gonna end up like the US instead where 60% of people cannot afford health care, she mentioned that.

After the lazy work out, I shared this to my friend. He said this is a realistic world, the doctor probably just came out with such naïve thought. I told him, if it is possible, I would wanna live in that ideal world where health care is made possible for everyone, it felt like putting morals and good deed with a price tag. Close to home, I do not think any of us little citizen can do anything significant. The least we can do is to get everyone to feel the pain, while get prepared to save your own ass.

Yes we live in a realistic world. People don’t seem to care, but you know what, I am not gonna stop believing it any sooner. I, will still uphold the ideal world whenever I can. 

William (not agent Scully's son, no.)

William, is the straight kawan that went to Germany, previously I wrote about him too. That time was way too childish, even though now also quite childish, still.

So I was driving back from Penang after work, escaping the heavy traffic due to the bridge. Somehow the conversation with William ended up with a impromptu movie date to watch "THE MERMAID". Basically a love-fantasy-funny film by Stephen Chow, I nearly cried moment the old mermaid came out to save the young mermaid lady (main character la), wow the tail so big, but it doesn't quite make sense anyway, so as the lengzai guy (main character also), china guy, hot, got some body shape la, okay pass for me. Typical plot of the bad suddenly get turned into good guy due to a stupid girl something like that. After that went minum old town with William, I offered Starbucks he said expensive, okay lo it is just tea anyway. This time it was pretty normal topic, we talked about future, finance, work opportunity.

Yesterday night quite bullshit, initially wanna go gym, but I was damned tired, end up changing the plan to minum, which i was very happy to go ahead, otherwise I would be paying RM10 for one-time entry and sniffing men sweat odors, which is not something nice all the time. He said I have very bad choice for a LUMIA 930 and I kalah all the poker game la apa pa. Anyhow, despite that, he laughed at my stupid jokes and I don't feel annoyed, he drove me around with my Myvi just for the sake of trying.

Back in the car, I could have the chance to mencabuli him but aiya, behaving that would just drive him far away, I will just stay put. I am addicted to ADDICTED (the gay web series from China), I felt that story line was very bullshit, straight guy falling for a straight guy? Anyhow, if one day William felt that out of so many human beings, SKP is the one, I don't mind, but need to see if I got bf already or not.

Ranting

Finally I felt liberated after days of keeping quiet back in hometown. FYI, I don't usually talk unless required or things get out of hand. Tonight I went to one of the bestie house, talk nonsense.

I thought I have always been telling people that I am single with all my gay life relationship stories. Anyhow she doesn't know so I told her. I told them about subang guy. I said I was very frustrated with subang guy with the whole twist of the story. If u have been reading- which I hope not, wanna limit the number of people reading this blog- you would know about me and subang guy.

Honestly, again, I think I am not that bad looking, she said some lady said I am good looking, so there you go, I hit the gym, I act dumb but I think at times I am smart, I manage my finance, so what is so bad about me anyway? Ur not that good looking either, but I am just comfortable being with you. 

So yeah, I lamented about Subang guy, then I thought, after so long, 2 years or 3 years, I am still talking about the same guy even I dated several guys after him. Am I still into him? Or I am just some boring guy who would still go back to the same old guy?

About Subang guy, average looking, tall, yeah, some belly, a very unflattering body, some belly, but I like his sense of humor coupled with some level of confidence. I still remembered after the very first meet up with him at KTZ SS2, I was with the crazy hair (mini bun) and cheap clothes, he said he was abit taken off by my image, yet it was nice to talk to me, and he hoped that it would be the last time we meet up. To him telling me about crazy accountant guy and me telling him about Hebi. We kissed and sexed blah blah, until crazy accountant guy forbid him from meeting up with me again. I felt pissed off and cheated, I cried walking away from McD Taipan Subang, I was in anger and I felt pity for myself. After a few months he text me sending a song from Eason 《好久不见》, I just said hi and hope he was well with crazy accountant guy. In the middle we had sex, I don't know why, but it happened. Then everything back to normal isolation until he broke up with him. I am not sure what happened then but apparently he dated 2 persons. It was pretty short and it didn't work. Back to square one, me and him, we went out makan, just like normal friend. I don't feel the romance. However there were one strange night where I treated him dinner and expensive dessert (the stupid inside scoop), bought him bread too. Despite I had garlic, he forced kissed me when I drop him back outside the house. I thought there was some light of hope, but nothing follow up. Then after a few months I tried to ajak him yamcha and greeted him morning and night. After a week of two, I gave up. He has already moved to Shah Alam, we were divided by RM4 of back and forth toll. Until today, we can talk but there will not be follow up. 

Yeah here I am. Asking for a good bf that I am happy with. I have a few criteria but so far little people fill in the space. Screw it. I have no solution and I have no way. Citing the love diagnosis book, perhaps why LOVE has been something mesmorizing to human because it is so hard to grasp it.

Love matter in CNY eve

A month or so I bought this love diagnosis book from Popular Paradigm Mall. Well designed. Sharp comments. I am not sure if it is still around, I think I bought the last one in the outlet.

There is nothing much to do in the CNY period, I mean mom covers everything usually, I am just helping out with the tiny chores. Today I switched on the bluebooth speaker, let the PENTAS CAHAYA play repeatedly, read a few chapters but eventually I slept, in front of the main door.

One chapter it said about "If someone is not ready, he/she will probably not gonna be ready any time." I thought, Hebi said that, Subang guy mentioned something like that too, otherwise it is like no action. I realized I am those kinda person who would still think of the ex-, well, who would, what a stupid statement. 

Colleague wished me wonderful valentines in advanced. I felt like slapping her. But I just left a smiley face. Corporate style "Yeah, that's great that's wonderful wow...", what to do.

Apparently the Fire Monkey year, Dragon gonna be pretty good with career and wealth, romance is just so-so, nothing worth mentioning. Oh well, I guess I will use the salary adjustment for more clubs and alcohol, condoms and lubs. There already a booze date with the company's drunken master. Yiks... SKP, when that kinda stupid love gonna land on me.